Pause the Clock ?

Summer plans? Room Draw? 3rd Semester?

All of these questions are running through my head, people are asking the questions and I just don't have answers right now. After first semester of school, my life was a hot mess. I can accept that, and I'm learning from the mistakes I made. I do not regret a single second of what i did, or the experiences I had, but as a consequence, I had to do a lot of re-evaluating.

I leave for school in less than a week, and all I want to do is work on holding up my newfound me and not giving in to people and things, I honestly cannot worry about what my plans are for the summer right now or what forms I have to fill out to get the room I want next year. It's going to be hard enough walking back into my house knowing that I cannot be the same person I was last time I lived there.

It's scary. I won't lie, I'm know it's going to be one of the hardest things I've done in a while, but I'm ready for it. I'm ready to be the person I am.

And this doesn't exclude me from letting loose and getting down every once in a while, but it wont consume my life in the mass that it has in the past. I'm going to relearn what Smith means to me. I'm excited to go back to school and do all the things I love doing without putting them to rest. I have never in my life been more excited to do homework. I'm ready to take the classes I signed up for, to challenge myself and to see what else Smith can offer me. I'm ready to make new friends and keep my really amazing friends. It's a balancing act, but I think I'm finally ready.

<3