Repition?

I have this horrible obsessive habit where I will listen to one song over and over again. . . on repeat for days.

But that stirs things in me.

Things I cannot articulate for numerous reasons, but they're there

swimming under the surface

making me anxious

and freaked out

and constantly feeling like i need to be doing something.

I just changed the song, but i don't know what that's going to do for me. Things are swirling in me, confusion and parts of me and sides of me that I haven't dealt with yet. All I want to do is fall asleep.

Part of me
Is living too much in the future, wanting so much to happen that part of me is ready for. that i want so badly to happen.

Part of me
Wants to tell you to throw conviction to the wind

but another part of me
doesn't want to loose you

A part of me is ready for this right now
a part of my isn't sure

There's this gnawing feeling in me
that wants to operate as I normally do
but there's an equal force that is telling me not to
because it could just end this all

And there's this part of me
that wants to find someone else
but. . .
another part of me that can't fathom it.

All these conflictions, contradictions and so much more float around me, challenging me beckoning me.

I'm not sure which side I will choose
or if there is a choice. . .